Talking to your kids about divorce is one of the most painful and difficult conversations.
Firstly, you don’t want to hurt your children’s feelings even though you are aware that there
is no other way out of it. Secondly, you are yourself going through hard times coping with
the reality of divorce. The last thing you want is to put your mind to any discussion around
it. Unfortunately, you have to brave this moment at some point
Here are some useful tips to help you tide over this conversation as painlessly as possible.
Break the News Together
You and your partner should consult each other and decide on a date and time when you
will reveal your decision to divorce together. You also need to think beforehand about how
you want to break the news and what you will tell them. This will send a message to your
children that it is a mutual decision.
Avoid Arguments
No matter whatever your reason may be to separate from your partner, do not argue about
it in front of children while talking about divorce. Your children will not only get scared, but
they will also feel that either of their parents doesn’t love them.
Give Them Assurance
When parents divorce each other, children believe that they will have to choose between
both parents. Give your children complete assurance that both parents will stay completely
involved in their life even if they live separately. Let them know that you both love them and
there is no way they will have to take any sides.
Answer Their Questions
Naturally, your children will have several questions in mind about your divorce and their
present and future. Try to answer all questions as truthfully as possible without beating
around the bush. Your children have the right to know about changes taking place in their
life and how they will impact them.
Avoid Blaming
You may have many reasons to blame your partner for the divorce. However, avoid being
critical of your partner in front of your children. Present them a united front.
Give Them Time to Come To Terms with the Situation
Divorce situation is as emotionally messy for your children as it is with you. You can’t expect
them to accept the situation immediately and be fine with it. Give them some time to grieve and cope with it. You might also consider taking your children to a family counsellor for professional help if they are having a hard time dealing with the situation.
A divorce is a life-changing event for your children and of course, you. You all are bound to
feel confused, sad and stressed. Acceptance of the situation is the only way forward. Most importantly, do not leave your children’s side.
